"We’re sedating women with consumerist self-care,” Raphael says. “You’re not stressed because you’re not doing enough yoga or taking enough bubble baths. There are other, bigger reasons why you feel stressed out.
Maybe it’s because you don’t have maternity benefits. Maybe it’s because your boss is emailing you after 6pm. Maybe it’s because your partner doesn’t help you with the workload at home.
These are the things that get shoved under the rug and instead you’re told that you yourself, alone, have to take care of the issues.”
There are many points in this article that I find extremely irritating, but this one does have an important point worth considering. When is 'doing nice things for yourself' no longer enough? When is it time to start making (radical) change? (And I don't think this applies just to women.)
Some issues, like maternity pay, might be government policy that we feel pretty powerless around. Having an un-boundaried boss or under-helpful partner may also feel 'beyond our control', and so going for a walk or sitting in meditation for twenty minutes might be the most tangible option.
But when are you going to make time to look at the root causes? Are there conversations that can be had with your partner or boss? Changes you can initiate?
Part of what we do in wellness coaching is ask questions and gain clarity. When is it time to book a massage and escape for a while, and when is it time to have some challenging conversations about getting your needs met? Both are 'self-care'.